 |
ColoKid, Colorado's Champion Cattle Bender
WARNING! Don't look into her eyes for too long, for it's those eyes which have made ColoKid the Champion Cattle bender through most of America's west these past ten years or more.If you feel your spine beginning to twist, it may already be too late to look away. Ask a friend to call an ambulance for you, and refer to this web page at the hospital. Don't worry, all the doctors know of ColoKid already and will do their best for you. Before taking up the sport of Cattle Bending, ColoKid was most famous in Colorado as a young debutante. She was known by the nickname ‘48DD’, this presumably being a reference to her car registration plate. Many a man has danced with her, never to hear again. Roadside jogging is just one of her pastimes. Also, she has become expert at treating black eyes, and at helping out at one-vehicle road accidents, at which she just happens to be near at an alarmingly high number of occasions. ColoKid is widely recognised as being an Anglophile, one who loves everything British. Although that, in fact, may recently have changed. She also has a penchant for fat Greek men wearing white dresses and singing songs in falsetto. This may be something to do with DNA or, more likely, is a reflection of the male popluation in Colorado. Well, someone has to live there, I suppose.
At SST, she has carved a unique place for herself, two in fact, and everyone knows that only she could fill them. Well loved, universally popular, and a completely delightful lady (well, that's what it says here), ColoKid's place in our history and hearts is assured. There are many quotes on the Web about ColoKid, some of them are even publishable. Here are all four of them: Chuck Chuckbull: “Sure is a long time since any prairie cattle have been seen around Denver. So I can't figure out why all the cowboys are there. Oh, wait a minute... I think I'm beginning to see...” Toulouse Lautrek: “If you think I'm walking under those, you've got another think coming!” D'astragar (D'astragaaar) D'astragar, Maitre D' Bot of the Starship Titanic's 1st Class Restaurant: “Sacre Bleu! Please (pleaaase) please don't point those at me, they might go off! I yield, I yield!” Uri Geller: “OK, I give up... how does she keep them up?” |
We
see her here acting as the chaperone at a recent Denver Debutante's Introduction
Evening, as she makes her way towards the young men waiting for the Debutantes.
Order was restored within the hour by the Colorado Armed Reserve, and only
14 of the boys needed treatment. At The Readers Vine, ColoKid is known
as 